Monday, July 21, 2014

She Said

This morning I dropped Boyfriend at camp and took Girlfriend and Boo to the grocery store.

As I was parking the car, Girlfriend began, "Can I walk?"

This is a new thing around here... "walking" at the store... instead of being in a cart.

It began thanks to Husband, and I for one, never, ever allow it.

So I was all, "Nope... no walking in the store, not till you're 5... but you can drive the car cart."

Girlfriend gave a grunt and started to complain...


"Don't worry, Boyfriend is at camp, so you get to drive the car cart all by yourself! Does that sound good?"

From the back seat, a small voice replied...almost to herself; "That sounds fucking AWESOME."

And there you have it... driving the car cart all by yourself when you a two year old, only girl, middle child... is fucking awesome.

Friday, July 18, 2014

My Almost Threenager

My Girlfriend... is almost THREE.

I know. I am serious.

If you've been reading long enough to remember when she was born than man... you seriously deserve some sort of prize or something.

Anyway.... I am one of four kids, and I have two sisters so there was never any really special girl time for me ya know?

All my girl time was shared with my sisters... which is fine but... I missed out on some one on one time with my Mom.

And I have always said that I want that for my Doll.

With her 3rd birthday approaching fast, I was trying to think of something special that we could do just for her.

I got this hair brained idea to ask my friend Jen of JCole Photography if she would let me bring allll of my girly stuff (plus some extra that I borrowed from a friend) to do a fun photo shoot.

I dubbed it the Threenager Photo Shoot.

These are just the shots that made the cut... there were others... there was makeup involved.

It was very red and very all over her face....

So those shots didn't make the cut...

But these..... DID!

And I am obsessed with them and am going to use them on her invites... ANNND her thank you note... and I'm going to frame a few for her room.

One day... probably when she first gives me the finger... I'm going to pull out these pictures as a reminder of how good of a Mom I am.

I know for sure I would have LOVED to do this when I was little... this was seriously so fun, for everyone involved.

We were like pile on all the stuff give her more more more... it was a more is more day.

If you have a daughter... this is such a great alternative to boring, posed shots... seriously, break out the toys and let her go nuts!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Summer Social Media Detox

Umm... hello?

Is anyone still here?

I'm back... kind of... for tonight anyway.

I have been trying to have a social media-less summer vacation with the kids.

Surprisingly, I am doing pretty well with it.

I am as addicted to this nonsense as the rest of the world.

It is embarrassing, and shameful, and I absolutely hate that I click on Facebook for no reason and read status updates from people that I don't even like.

Basically this detox all started because Boo recently decided that when he nurses he wants to hold my hand.

I know... cutest thing ever.

So anyway... with one hand around him and the other one in his hand... there was nowhere to hold my phone and read the news and status updates and other bull shit.

And I thought... THIS IS FANTASTIC. Fuck social media... I want to watch my beautiful baby boy nurse instead.

And so I did. Do, I mean.

Anyway... all this watching led to me forgetting my phone all over the damn place... and the battery dying... and....

Before I knew it, I had begun a social media detox.

I am however, hopelessly devoted to Instagram because one day I swear I am going to make Insta-magnets and Insta-books, and Insta-t-shirts and book-marks and UNDERWEAR out of all of my quickly captured slash filtered moments.

Okay, maybe not underwear... but you get the idea.


We have been busy doing all the things in all the land... with no cell phone in my hand.

Everyone is humongous and long and tan and I have no clue where my babies have gone.

If you haven't checked in with us here in awhile, I am going to go ahead and be the worst self promoting blogger ever and say GOOD... we should all get the hell off the Internet and bring it back old school.


Let me remind you who I case you forgot.

I hate my cell phone, it is not an I-phone and if I could remove the Internet from it I would.

My life is crazy.

I have laundry to do, and floors to mop, and my toenails are begging for a pedicure, and my roots are looooong, and my forehead is covvvvered in wrinkles (special thanks to my babies for those)...

BUT... my children are beautiful... (albeit a little insane).... my toilets are clean but my floors are dirty... I get very little sleep... ANNNND

I like things this way.

If you're still out there reading, thanks, you're sweet.

And don't worry!!

Kindergarten is coming and with it, lots of stories about how Husband had to drag me out of the bus on the first day.

I mean it didn't happen yet... but I'm gonna go ahead and say maybe it will.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

We Cried It Out

Just like I did with Girlfriend at 4.5 months... I recently did some sleep training with Boo using the, "Cry It Out," method.

I know this method isn't for everyone... but I swear it is way more bark than it is bite.

Boo cried for 20 minutes the first nap, and then 10 the second nap, and then 7.... after that... no tears, just right to sleep.

That's it... three naps!

I know people that swear it takes three days... I think that is a load of shit... unless the baby is a year old maybe... three naps is my experience!

Because I have three kids and we go to playgrounds in the morning, I found that Boo was taking his naps in my Solly Baby Wrap... which was fine and loveable and snuggly...

But when it came time for bed, and I would put him into his own crib in his own room away from me and my smells... he had a heart attack.

He just wanted to sleep near me, and with me, and on me...

And even though I of course love when he does that, sometimes I just don't have the time for it.

So even though I love to sleep near my baby and wear my baby, I knew it was time to train him to sleep somewhere other than next to me.

I carved out three days time for Cry It Out, but like I said, it took him only three naps.

We did a lot of playing in the yard and in the neighborhood... basically I just didn't leave the house for three days until Boo understood that his room was his room.

If you can handle it, I suggest you try it if you need to... it is such a gift to have a child that can sleep well... to the whole family!

Monday, June 9, 2014

Dumpster Diving

This is the story of an end table that I found on the side of the road.

I drove past and thought to myself.. "Self, that would make a perfect Lego table! It has so much storage!"

So I stopped the car and threw it into the trunk.

And then I took it home and unloaded it and thought to myself, "Self... this thing is not real wood and is actually just shitty veneer and will look like a piece of crap when you are done painting it."

So I decided to give it a new, prettier, more exciting life.

By covering it in primer... and giving it to the kids for an after nap surprise one day.

I handed them q-tips, and paint brushes and I push acrylic paint all over it.

Then I let them do their thing while I sat back and watched.

The night stand was allowed to stay in our yard looking all fancy and sparkly for a few days and then I carefully put it at the road one night when the kids were in bed.

Would you even freaking believe it... when I woke up the next morning... Missus Fancy Pants night stand was gone.

I can only imagine what in the HAAAIIILLLLL someone wanted to do with that crazy looking thing... but maybe, just maybe, they are like me and they were all...

"Wow! So much storage!"

So I hope that crazy looking piece of furniture does continue on living.... and I also hope that I can find other solid, not dirty things on the side of the road this summer.

Cause the kids had an absolute blast personalizing that thing, and it didn't cost me a freaking penny.


Thursday, June 5, 2014

She Said....

I can't help it...

I am always telling my Girlfriend, "Don't touch anything! Put your hands in the air! Put your hands in your pockets! Put your hands behind your back!"

She is just such a train wreck that basically everything she touches breaks or turns to shit.

Today alone she broke her brother's blinds, our screen door on our slider, and painted the toilet seat with blue nail polish.

Annnnd we've only been home since 3 pm, because we had been visiting my parents.

She does these things when she is supposed to be napping.

She also climbs on counters to find what she wants so literally... nothing is safe. Nothing.

I am literally constantly saying to her, "Unless it's PINK, or it says your name on it (she cant read but still)... YOU CANT TOUCH IT!"

She's the only girl of course, so almost everything pink in the house is her.

Anyway, that's your back story ...

The other day I asked her what she wanted to be when she grows up...

And she said...

"I want to be yike you."

And I was all, "Awww... you want to be a Mommy?"

And she's like... "Ahhh no. I want to be able to touch everything."

Oooofff course you do.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Whatever Works

I get the bulk of my laundry done on rainy days.

If the sun is shining, I am outside with the kids... either in the yard, at a park, a hike, riding bikes, playing with neighbors... you name it if the sun is shining we are doing it.

But when it rains... I am a laundry machine.

I just cant get myself to do it on a nice day... I don't know why because I do all other kinds of house work when it's not raining.

Anyway, when it finally rains... I have to pretty much pull out all the stops to keep the kids interested because it's like a full day's work.

On this particular day, we had already made cookies, played with play doh and watched a movie.

So I dug deep into my bag of tricks... aka.. my cabinet of crafty-things... and came out with 500 rubber bands...

Then I added in some cans and we were in fine motor skills business.

This made the big kids really use their noggins because not all of the rubber bands would fit... they had to actually think things through.

This project kind of evolved from there... "Let's add crayons! And feathers! I made a sling shot!"

It was fun, (and a little dangerous who the Hell taught this kid what a sling shot is??) to see their imaginations run wild with the task at hand.

Which was... nothing really... just put rubber bands on a can.

And then Boyfriend asked for more cans and so did Girlfriend and before I knew it I had run out and accidentally gave Girlfriend a can with a pop top and welp...

 here is when I caught her realizing that she can open the can...

That was also the moment that I realized she could open the can...

And the next moment was me dropping the camera and flying across the room just as she dumped chickpea juice everywhere.

It just wouldn't be a project without a mishap from my Girlfriend.

All the feathers! and soup! and chickpeas! excitement ended up just being another excuse for me not to do laundry... so in the end, everyone was happy.

The cans got a new fancy life as some sort of feathery drag queen... the kids got to use their brains... and I didn't have to fold a single shirt.

Although I did have to clean chickpea juice up off the floor.

You win some you lose some.


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